Are You a Good Listener ?

Most of us don't listen just speak. Do we ? Read the other part of the story.

Listening is at the heart of interpersonal communication. As you improve your listening skills, you are bound to improve your relationships and your effectiveness in both your personal and professional life. Take this quiz to see how much insight you have into what it means to be a “good listener.” How many of the following statements do you agree with?

1. Listening requires a true commitment and the desire to listen to others.
2. Awareness of body language contributes to your listening ability.
3. Eliminating distractions is key to good listening.
4. In order to be a good listener, you must be able to try to empathize with the speaker.
5. To hear the other side of a story, we often have to put our own perceptions, defensives and beliefs on hold.
6. In order to hear other people, you have to adjust your listening style to their style of communication.
7. It is possible to motivate people to give you the information you need to hear.
   

How do you think you did?

Think all are true? They are true. But even if you scored 100%, listening is not an easy skill to master.

What is good listening ?

Some experts suggest that there are four basics to listening:

First, you must receive the information through your ears and eyes. Second, you must give meaning to the information. Third, you must decide what you think or feel about the information. Fourth, you process and respond to what you hear.

Start practicing your listening skills today—listening is a lifelong asset.Check out this too.

http://www.twu.edu/o-sl/counseling/SelfHelp026.html

Anyway, Listenening doesn't mean that you don't speak. N'joy Listenening

Microsoft's Space mgnt...

Microsoft has come up with space mgnt area on internet. Cool site to have your huge contents on the net and share.
Photos, blogs, music etc etc...
My daughter Riya at ...
http://spaces.msn.com/members/riya-shukla/

Blood Doners in Bangalore

The value of Blood is nothing but the life... One can understand this only when he/she is in need. Some one might be in need of you.. your blood.... Let other know.. that you are available, whenever they need... Enroll at http://www.lionsbloodline.com/

Just Three Words . . .

Just Three Words . . .

There are many things that you can do to strengthen your relationships. Often the most effective thing you can do involves saying just three words. When spoken sincerely, these statements often have the power to develop new friendships, deepen old ones and even bring healing to relationships that have sourerd.

The following three-word phrases can be tools to help develop every relationship.

1. Let me help
Good friends see a need and then try to fill it. When they see a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they jump in and help out.

2. I understand you.
People become closer and enjoy each other more when the other person accepts and understands them. Letting your spouse know - in so many little ways - that you understand them, is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship. And this can apply to any relationship.

3. I respect you
Respect is another way of showing love. Respect demonstrates that another person is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bonds and become closer friends. This applies to all interpersonal relationships.

4. I miss you
Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved. Consider how important you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say "I miss you."

5. Maybe you're right
This phrase is very effective in diffusing an argument. The implication when you say "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting, "maybe I'm wrong". Let's face it. When you have an argument with someone, all you normally do is solidify the other person's point of view. They, or you, will not likely change their position and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you. Saying "maybe you're right" can open the door to explore the subject more. You may then have the opportunity to express your view in a way that is understandable to the other person.

6. Please forgive me
Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

7. I thank you
Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

8. Count on me
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship. It is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating "you can count on me."

9. I'll be there
If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase "I'll be there." Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

10. Go for it
We are all unique individuals. Don't try to get your friends to conform to your ideals. Support them in pursuing their interests, no matter how far out they seem to you. God has given everyone dreams, dreams that are unique to that person only. Support and encourage your friends to follow their dreams. Tell them to "go for it."

B o n u s : 11. I love youPerhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a person's deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted. Your spouse, your children, your friends and you, all need to hear those three little words: "I love you." Love is a choice. You can love even when the feeling is gone.

By unknown

True Friend 

A REAL ROMANTIC STORY

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired; there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?
And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.
Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?"
He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....
My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further ... "
This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. "When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.
You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.
You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city; I have to save my eyes to show you the way.
You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.
You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face...
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... " My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting... and as I continue on reading... "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk...
I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form ... Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our life ...

Love, not words win arguments...

Tere sang main

Chand chithiyan hai, tere naam ki
Rakh di hai hamne, phulo ke sang,

Rakh di hai hamne, phulo......

Socha hai hamne, kabhi phursat main
baithegain ham tere sang main

Dohrayegain, chithiyon ka lekha tere sang main
Tere sang main

Union Budget 2005-2006

New directions and hope for the better economy

http://www.equitymaster.com/detailb05.asp?date=2/28/2005&story=1

Reporting application Errors by Email

Good article about log4j and reporting critical events
Reporting Application Errors by Email by Sean C. Sullivan --
Even if your application logs an error to a local file, the developer doesn't know there's a problem until a user notices it and sends the log file back.
It can be more useful for apps to email their own error messages back. And as Sean C. Sullivan explains, it's not hard to do with either log4j or java.util.logging.

MUSHKIL HAI APNA MEL PRIYE

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum MA 1st division ho, main hua matric fel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum fauji afsar ki beti, main to kisaan ka beta hoon,
tum rabadi kheer malai ho, main to sattu sapreta hoon,
tum AC ghar mein rahti ho, main ped ke neeche leta hoon,
tum nai maruti lagti ho, main scooter lamreta hoon,
is kadar agar hum chup-chup kar aapas me prem badhaenge,
to ek roz tere daddy amrish puri ban jaaenge,
sab haddi pasli tod mujhe bhijwaa denge vo jail priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum arab desh kee ghodi ho, main hoon gadahe ki naal priye,
tum deewali ka bonus ho, main bhookho ki hadtaal priye,
tum heere jadi tashtari ho, main almunium ka thaal priye,
tum chicken-soop biryani ho, main kankad waali daal priye,
tum hiran-chaokadi bharti ho, main hoon kachue ki chaal priye,
tum chandan-wan ki lakdi ho, main hoon babool ki chaal priye,
main pake aam sa latka hoon, mat maaro mujhe gulel priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

main shani-dev jaisa kuroop, tum komal kanchan kaya ho,
main tan-se man-se kanshi ram, tum maha chanchala maya ho,
tum nirmal paawan ganga ho, main jalta hua patanga hoon,
tum raaj ghaat ka shanti march, main hindu-muslim danga hoon,
tum ho poonam ka taajmahal, main kaali gufa ajanta ki,
tum ho vardaan vidhata ka, main galti hoon bhagvanta ki,
tum jet vimaan ki shobha ho, main bus ki thelam-thel priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum nai videshi mixi ho, main patthar ka silbatta hoon,
tum AK-saintalis jaisi, main to ik desi katta hoon,
tum chatur rabadi devi si, main bhola-bhala lalu hoon,
tum mukt sherni jangal ki, main chidiyaghar ka bhaalu hoon,
tum vyast sonia gandhi si, main v.p.singh sa khali hoon,
tum hansi madhuri dixit ki, main policeman ki gaali hoon,

kal jel agar ho jaaye to dilwa dena tum bel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

main dhabe ke dhaanche jaisa, tum paanch sitara hotel ho,
main mahue ka desi tharra, tum red-label ki botel ho,
tum chitra-haar ka madhur geet, main krishi-darshan ki jhaadi hoon,
tum vishva-sundari si kamaal, main teliya chaap kabadi hoon,
tum sony ka mobile ho, main telephone waala chonga,
tum machli maansarovar ki, main saagar tat ka hoon ghongha,
dus manzil se gir jaaooga, mat aage mujhe dhakel priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum satta ki maharani ho, main vipaksha ki lachari hoon,
tum ho mamta-jailalita si, main kwara atal-bihari hoon,

tum tendulkar ka shatak priye, main follow on ki paari hoon,
tum getz, matiz, corolla ho main Leyland ki lorry hoon,

mujhko refree hi rehne do, mat khelo mujhse khel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

main soch raha ki rahe hain kabse, shrota mujhko jhel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye.

Poem by Rudyard Kipling

IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

Just to keep in my memories ....

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's
the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

How to monitor Linux systems

A must see link for monitoring Linux system/ services/applications.
I feel its really worth reading this article and having archived it for future use.

http://www.kernel.org/software/mon/

Email Templates in java

Creating Email Templates with XML by Rafe Colburn -- Nearly every web app needs to send email at some point, but storing message bodies and headers can be tricky. Rafe Colburn demonstrates using XML, the Commons Digester, JavaMail, and MessageFormat to simplify generating and sending email.

How to pass parameters to interactive shell script from java

It is very small but tricky, just try it


public static int executeWithInput(String cmd) throws Exception
{
int retCode = 0;
Runtime rt = Runtime.getRuntime();
Process pr = rt.exec(cmd);
OutputStream out = pr.getOutputStream();
out.write('y');
out.write('\n');
out.flush();
pr.waitFor();
retCode = pr.exitValue();
return retCode;
}

My world

its me

Automation

Off, its really tuff to do automation of linux server, application maintenance. I am just going through the book Automating UNIX and LINUX Administration by Kirk bauer.

Looks like a good book, but stiil need to catch more.

This time busy....Will be back soon